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Attachments and Transference

We are to minister with agape love. Sometimes, however, clients may begin to see life only in the affirmation and nurture they receive from their Prayer Deliverance Minister (PDM) . They may talk about Jesus, but their relationship with Him is largely represented by the flesh-and-blood person on whom they have learned to depend for understanding. -

Brothers if someone in caught in a sin you who are -spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:1-2

As in " Spiritual Adultery", the relationship between the wounded and those who minister healing to them is the subject of this lesson. The inevitability of closeness and intimacy between PDM and client requires a close look at some of the common problems, which can occur. Inappropriate attachments, dependencies and the confusion of transference relationships are discussed at length, and insights are offered to help PDMs manage these conditions mid respond in godly ways.

Secular counselors are trained to be detached. Whereas Prayer Deliverance Ministers are called to meet people heart to heart, mind to mind, and spirit to spirit.

This relationship often creates "attachments". Some people need "love with skin on it," so they attach to us rater than to Jesus. This situation should only be temporary. We are to be transparent, so that they can look beyond us to the Lord.

We are gifts for the -healing of others. The danger is when the PDM feels like he/she is the only one who can help.

The definition of transference: When a client projects onto a PDM (pastor, etc.) various unresolved relationships (to fathers, mothers, siblings, lovers, etc.) and try to work them out in relation to the PDM.

An example of this might be, a client who has had difficulty in a close friendship may consider the PDM his/her one and only friend.

Another example would be, a client who has poor family ties and sees the PDM as a father or mother; or one who has unsatisfactory sexual relations with a spouse may come to the PDM with sexual desires.

Any blend of the above or any other unresolved relational issues would create an atmosphere for transference.

Symptoms of transference:

o The client has too high an opinion of the PDM.

o The client wants or asks for a special relationship.

o The client begins to invent problems for the PDM to help him/her with.

o The client invites the PDM to social functions.

o The client will exhibit typical signs of infatuation i.e., longing looks, touching, flirtation, and double entendres.

How to handle transference:

o First be aware that it can easily take place. Wisdom is protection to the man who has it, Ecclesiastes 7:12

o Transference is not sin; it is confusion. Acting upon it becomes a sin.

o When possible talk about it. It dispels the confusion, and sets the client at rest.

o Do not reject the client.

Do not respond to the client's advances, and remain neutral.

Keep your own heart and mind clear.

Continue to cleanse your self spiritually.

Get on your face and seek God's wisdom


A transference relationship is from a weaker vessel to a stronger. These relationships are not stable. It is the PDM who is responsible for monitoring the situation and setting the boundaries.

Signs that transference has been worked through:

When the client disagrees or argues with the PDM.

When the client manages a situation better than they might have before they came to you.



What is counter-transference?

When the PDM responds In kind to the dependency of a client, in transference. This relationship is filled with projection. When this occurs, there is no good thing that can come from it. It must end at once.


How to discern counter-transference

When the PDM begins to think that he/she is the only one that can help this client,

When the PDM begins to invent reasons for the client to come back.

When the PDM finds reasons to visit with the client out side the counseling office

When the PDM has dreams and waking fantasies.

When the PDM has problems with prayer and sex life at home.

When the PDM is unable to hear warnings.


How to end counter-transference:

Share, confess, with spouse, trusted friend, and another counselor.

Transfer client to another PDM.

Break off relationship completely.


Transference can take place between members of the same sex, i.e., a woman client looking for a mother.

Attachments and transference should not take us by surprise, as they are commonly part of the deliverance process. We must view all aspects of our relationship with those we help as a sacred trust from God, and ask for His sensitivity both in recognizing and handling these issues when they come up.

As PDMs, we must continually turn to God, friends and family for the encouragement and support that we require. If relationships with our spouses are in need of repair, we must tend to them, for our husbands and wives are God's gifts to protect our hearts. If we are single, we should submit ourselves to close friends who can pray to keep us on track.

Married or single, we must continually pray that God will work in our own lives, healing areas of insecurity in our hearts which may leave us vulnerable to the temptations and deceptions in inappropriate attachments and transference relationships.

Old TESTAMENT

Genesis 15- God's blood covenant with Abram

Genesis 17:1-7-When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said. "1 am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Abram fell face down, and God said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: You will be the father of many nations. No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you the father of many nations, I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you. I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.

Deuteronomy 13:1-5 - If a prophet or one who foretells by dreams, appears among you and announces to you a miraculous sign or wonder, and if the sign or wonder of which he has spoken takes place, and he says, "Let us follow other gods" (gods you have not known) "and let us worship them," you must not listen to the words of that prophet or dreamer. The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him. That prophet or dreamer must be put to death, because he preached rebellion against the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt and redeemed you from the land of slavery; he has tried to turn you from the way the Lord your God commanded you to follow. You must purge the evil from among you.

I Samuel 18:1-After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

II Chronicles 20:7 - "0 our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abra-ham your friend?"

Psalm 118:12 - They swarmed around me like bees, but they died out as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the Lord I cut them off.

Proverbs 1(h3la - The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom...

Proverbs 13:lSa - Good understanding wins favor...

Proverbs 13:20-He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Ecclesiastes 7:12 -Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor.

NEW TESTAMENT

Ephesians 3:14-15-For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

II Timothy 20-21 -In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

II Timothy3:6-7-They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.

I John4:1-Dear friends, do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

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Site Last Updated Friday, January 18, 2002. 22:03:04