driving forces can be inappropriate, and his/her fuse
can be very short.
This individual is usually manipulative and tends to
exploit flaws in others.
They fear intimacy because it lends itself to
vulnerability. If you are
vulnerable you lack control.
These individuals tend to avoid efforts for real growth.
counseling for fear of discovery. Relationships become
secondary to self- interests, and they may be in a group,
but not part of it.
They tend to have
a need to push and defile others. They seem not to have
strength of spirit
for self-discipline. He/she may develop habits and
to comfort self in isolation, i.e., hobbies
(in order to keep them self busy, preventing
participation with others) drugs, alcohol, and
Addiction to masturbation grows when a person
experiences a momentary sense
of well being and thus becomes addicted to the comfort
and pleasure it
provides. He/she Identifies sexuality in genital pleasure
rather than in
meeting and blessing another.
He/she may seek out new sexual experiences to
satisfy increased hunger for comfort and pleasure, while
the real need is
A scenario of incest in a Christian
A potential male abuser accepts the Lord. He focuses
on teaching liturgy and
theology, rather than the healing relationship of Jesus.
When he marries, he
possesses, demands, bargains, and controls. Sex is like
serves as a form of self-gratification. He tends to treat
his wife like an
object as opposed to a partner. His spouse feeling used,
from her husband. When the abusers' wife withdraws,
he will be drawn to his children in an unclean way. The
children are non-threatening, small frail,
trusting, plus he can play the hero. The daughter
fathers love and attention, and he wants to be needed,
important and responds out of immaturity and sickness.
His daughter may
remind him of how his wife used to be, or is suppose to
be. He begins to
embrace the child and long-suppressed emotions and
desires flood up in
confusion. He runs on his practiced track of
self-gratification and violates
Reactions of the abuser to his sin
Before he is discovered he may experience fear,
self-preservation, and he
may even threaten his child to prevent her from telling.
After he is discovered, he may deny the accusation. If he
does own it, he
will minimize the offense. After he minimizes
the offense he may rationalize
what he has done by accusing his wife of not satisfying
Rarely does the abuser have any concept of the harm done
to the child. He will repeat. He must be separated from
the victim until he brings forth
fruits in keeping with repentance. Matthew 3:8, Acts
26:20 The abuser not
the victim needs to be removed from the house.
Healing for the abuser
From the church they need unconditional love and loving
compassion and forgiveness, and support through
friendship, and intercessory
From Those who minister they need recognition of root
causes of problems
They will need help in coming to the full acknowledgment
confession of sins.
This would include a clear message to the
victim that the abuser alone is responsible. The abuser
forgiveness from the victim and all injured by his
I Corinthians 12:26
The victim should be the one to determine when this takes
place. The victim must feel comfortable and safe, not the
This is all part of
the restitution process.
The abuser needs to forgive those who wounded him in
Encourage client to repent and
ask forgiveness for sinful responses
I John 1:9; John 20:23.
Give assurance of forgiveness spoken aloud
over the client healing his wounded spirit and creation
of a new and right
Ezekiel 36: 26;
II Corinthians 1:3-6
Pray aloud to bring to death structures in the spirit man
Help them with disciplines to walk in the new way.
II Timothy 1:7; Hebrews 12:10
Focus and teach about:
"h The laws of God
"h The sanctity of marriage
"h The holiness of sex
"h The functions of a fathers love
"h The blessings of self-sacrifice
"h Identification of love
Pray that God will free him to grow to maturity through
love and teaching.
Pray for true discernment to determine when client has
repented and is
capable to live a life which produces the fruit of
season after season.
The wounds of a sexual abuse are deep and scarring,
and the sexual abuser must be disciplined for his
But we must remember that we are
dealing with one who wounded others out of his own
and that his
discipline should not be a means for our revenge,
but for his good.
The abuser needs to be held accountable and made to
suffer enough of the consequences of his actions to
write Gods lessons upon his heart. But as
Christians we are called not only to hold a brother
accountable for his
sins, but also to forgive him.
As we minister to sexual abusers,
we must examine our own hearts to ensure our motivations
are in tune with
the will and the motivation of God.
They have forfeited their right to minister to children!
You would not put a
person who has had an addiction to alcohol behind a bar
to serve drinks.
This is putting to much temptation on him/her, so for the
same reason you
would not put a child molester in an area where he/she
would have the
temptation or opportunity to abuse again.
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Last Updated Saturday, June 16, 2001. 22:53:29